Greeting the new year with memories of loved ones and past holidays
Marilyn Shapiro reflects on High Holy Day gatherings past and present, and on placing a stone at yizkor in memory of loved ones.
Marilyn Shapiro
5
mins read time
Originally published at
The Jewish World
The headstone for Leona Ida Shapiro.
Yom Kippur turns our hearts toward both the fragility of life and the persistence of memory. —Rabbi Kelly Whitehead
The High Holy Days for Larry, my husband, and for me have always been about family, those who are with us and those whose lives we remember.
Although I remember High Holy Day services and dinner with my immediate family, Larry’s family had much larger get-togethers.
Days past
After Larry’s father Ernie returned from military service during the Korean War, he moved the family from Syracuse to Saratoga Springs to resume managing Shapiro’s of Schuylerville. Each holiday, Larry would pile into his family’s sedan along with his sisters and parents and drive to Syracuse to spend Rosh Hashanah with his Bubbie Rose, Uncle Asher, and family friends. A week later his family would go back to Syracuse for Yom Kippur. During those holidays, Larry would sit in the Orthodox synagogue with his father, Uncle Asher, and other relatives, fidgeting on the hard pews and looking forward to the huge meals prepared by his Bubbie Rose when services were done.
By the time I was invited to Rosh Hashanah dinner at the Shapiros in September 1973, six months after I had met Larry at a Jewish Singles Purim Party, the logistics had changed. Uncle Asher drove Bubbie Rose, now in her late seventies, and Cousin Helen “Hudie” Millstein back and forth from Syracuse. His mother Doris was now in charge of cooking, with the Syracuse contingent bringing pastries from the Snowflake bakery.
Simcha celebrations
On our walk home from Rosh Hashanah services in 1973, Larry and I got engaged. We decided to share the news with the family at the Yom Kippur break-the-fast, which coincided with Ernie’s birthday. After Ernie blew out his candles, Larry announced that his present for Ernie was a daughter-in-law. Bubbie’s comment: “It’s about time!”
It was our penultimate High Holy Days with Bubbie Rose, who passed away on the Thanksgiving Day after our September 1974 wedding.
We celebrated many more High Holy Day dinners around that huge dining room table. After Larry’s parents both passed away in 1994, I took over the Rosh Hashanah duties. Yes, many relatives were no longer with us, but we added additional family and friends to the guest list. We maintained that sweet tradition until our move to Florida in 2015. Since then, Rosh Hashanah dinners have been smaller and quieter affairs.
Congregation’s custom
Rosh Hashanah may be about memories of family gatherings. Yom Kippur is about remembrance. One of the most important parts of Yom Kippur is the yizkor service, in which we remember all the losses of loved ones, not only those who died in the past year but also the many who only live now in our hearts.
Congregation Shalom Aleichem, our synagogue here in Kissimmee, Fla. has a lovely tradition. It is a common Jewish custom to place a small stone upon the gravestone of a loved one when visiting the cemetery. As so many of us are too far away to complete this mitzvah, Congregation Shalom Aleichem has placed a table in front of the bimah with two containers of stones and a marble slab, which symbolizes the gravestone. At the end of the yizkor service, those who wish can silently place the stone(s) on the marble slab.
This year will be poignant for Larry and for me. Forefront in my mind will be my beloved older sister, Laura Appel, who died unexpectedly on Aug. 29, 2025, of a rare form of pneumonia that doctors said she had contracted on a recent European vacation.
ADVERTISEMENT
Place in the heart
Last fall I was in deep mourning. Now my grief is mixed with cherished memories, triggered by the expected and unexpected. Her bowl of waxed apples on my coffee table (As her married name was Appel, she had lots of apple tchotchkes); the family pictures on my end table of the Cohen family; the sight of a bottle of White Zinfandel (her favorite) or a huge bowl of ice cream (the entire Cohen family favorite). I recall sharing my early years with my parents and my Cohen siblings in Upstate New York; getting wise advice on life and love from my “Big Sister;” gathering at times with our growing families; enjoying a week each year in Arizona with Laura and her significant other.
At the yizkor service, my eyes filled with tears, I will place a stone in her memory on that marble slab. My sister is gone from this life but not from my heart.
Larry will also place his usual stones but will be adding one to honor a relative only known to him until recently as his father’s sister who had died tragically at 15 months old. This past August, two of Larry’s sisters, along with their husbands, had traveled to the Syracuse cemetery where several Shapiro family members had been buried. They sent him a text with a picture of a barely legible baby gravestone that they thought could be that of the lost sister. He texted back, “It can’t be her. The surname is wrong.” He decided to search the internet and, to his amazement, found within three minutes the gravestone that read “Leona Ida Shapiro 1915-1917.” He now knew her name and the years of her life, which ended before Ernie, his father, was even born. With this information, she became real, now his Aunt Leona of blessed memory. Over 100 years after her death, Larry will be remembering her at yizkor.
Sources:
Shurpin, Yehuda. “Why Do Jews Put Stones on Graves?” Chabad.org. chabad.org
Whitehead, Rabbi Kelly. “Five things to consider on Yom Kippur.” Reform Judaism. August 29, 2026. reformjudaism.org
Marilyn Shapiro, formerly of Clifton Park, a resident of Kissimmee, Fla. has several books to her credit. They are: Remembrance and Legacy, Profiles of Jewish Sacrifice, Survival, and Strength; Keep Calm and Bake Challah: How I Survived the Pandemic, Politics, Pratfalls, and Other of Life’s Problems; Tikkun Olam, There Goes My Heart; and Fradel’s Story, a compilation of stories by her mother that she edited. Shapiro’s blog is theregoesmyheart.me.
Originally published at
The Jewish World
ADVERTISEMENT
Greeting the new year with memories of loved ones and past holidays
Marilyn Shapiro reflects on High Holy Day gatherings past and present, and on placing a stone at yizkor in memory of loved ones.
Marilyn Shapiro
5
mins read time
Originally published at
The Jewish World
The headstone for Leona Ida Shapiro.
Yom Kippur turns our hearts toward both the fragility of life and the persistence of memory. —Rabbi Kelly Whitehead
The High Holy Days for Larry, my husband, and for me have always been about family, those who are with us and those whose lives we remember.
Although I remember High Holy Day services and dinner with my immediate family, Larry’s family had much larger get-togethers.
Days past
After Larry’s father Ernie returned from military service during the Korean War, he moved the family from Syracuse to Saratoga Springs to resume managing Shapiro’s of Schuylerville. Each holiday, Larry would pile into his family’s sedan along with his sisters and parents and drive to Syracuse to spend Rosh Hashanah with his Bubbie Rose, Uncle Asher, and family friends. A week later his family would go back to Syracuse for Yom Kippur. During those holidays, Larry would sit in the Orthodox synagogue with his father, Uncle Asher, and other relatives, fidgeting on the hard pews and looking forward to the huge meals prepared by his Bubbie Rose when services were done.
By the time I was invited to Rosh Hashanah dinner at the Shapiros in September 1973, six months after I had met Larry at a Jewish Singles Purim Party, the logistics had changed. Uncle Asher drove Bubbie Rose, now in her late seventies, and Cousin Helen “Hudie” Millstein back and forth from Syracuse. His mother Doris was now in charge of cooking, with the Syracuse contingent bringing pastries from the Snowflake bakery.
Simcha celebrations
On our walk home from Rosh Hashanah services in 1973, Larry and I got engaged. We decided to share the news with the family at the Yom Kippur break-the-fast, which coincided with Ernie’s birthday. After Ernie blew out his candles, Larry announced that his present for Ernie was a daughter-in-law. Bubbie’s comment: “It’s about time!”
It was our penultimate High Holy Days with Bubbie Rose, who passed away on the Thanksgiving Day after our September 1974 wedding.
We celebrated many more High Holy Day dinners around that huge dining room table. After Larry’s parents both passed away in 1994, I took over the Rosh Hashanah duties. Yes, many relatives were no longer with us, but we added additional family and friends to the guest list. We maintained that sweet tradition until our move to Florida in 2015. Since then, Rosh Hashanah dinners have been smaller and quieter affairs.
Congregation’s custom
Rosh Hashanah may be about memories of family gatherings. Yom Kippur is about remembrance. One of the most important parts of Yom Kippur is the yizkor service, in which we remember all the losses of loved ones, not only those who died in the past year but also the many who only live now in our hearts.
Congregation Shalom Aleichem, our synagogue here in Kissimmee, Fla. has a lovely tradition. It is a common Jewish custom to place a small stone upon the gravestone of a loved one when visiting the cemetery. As so many of us are too far away to complete this mitzvah, Congregation Shalom Aleichem has placed a table in front of the bimah with two containers of stones and a marble slab, which symbolizes the gravestone. At the end of the yizkor service, those who wish can silently place the stone(s) on the marble slab.
This year will be poignant for Larry and for me. Forefront in my mind will be my beloved older sister, Laura Appel, who died unexpectedly on Aug. 29, 2025, of a rare form of pneumonia that doctors said she had contracted on a recent European vacation.
ADVERTISEMENT
Place in the heart
Last fall I was in deep mourning. Now my grief is mixed with cherished memories, triggered by the expected and unexpected. Her bowl of waxed apples on my coffee table (As her married name was Appel, she had lots of apple tchotchkes); the family pictures on my end table of the Cohen family; the sight of a bottle of White Zinfandel (her favorite) or a huge bowl of ice cream (the entire Cohen family favorite). I recall sharing my early years with my parents and my Cohen siblings in Upstate New York; getting wise advice on life and love from my “Big Sister;” gathering at times with our growing families; enjoying a week each year in Arizona with Laura and her significant other.
At the yizkor service, my eyes filled with tears, I will place a stone in her memory on that marble slab. My sister is gone from this life but not from my heart.
Larry will also place his usual stones but will be adding one to honor a relative only known to him until recently as his father’s sister who had died tragically at 15 months old. This past August, two of Larry’s sisters, along with their husbands, had traveled to the Syracuse cemetery where several Shapiro family members had been buried. They sent him a text with a picture of a barely legible baby gravestone that they thought could be that of the lost sister. He texted back, “It can’t be her. The surname is wrong.” He decided to search the internet and, to his amazement, found within three minutes the gravestone that read “Leona Ida Shapiro 1915-1917.” He now knew her name and the years of her life, which ended before Ernie, his father, was even born. With this information, she became real, now his Aunt Leona of blessed memory. Over 100 years after her death, Larry will be remembering her at yizkor.
Sources:
Shurpin, Yehuda. “Why Do Jews Put Stones on Graves?” Chabad.org. chabad.org
Whitehead, Rabbi Kelly. “Five things to consider on Yom Kippur.” Reform Judaism. August 29, 2026. reformjudaism.org
Marilyn Shapiro, formerly of Clifton Park, a resident of Kissimmee, Fla. has several books to her credit. They are: Remembrance and Legacy, Profiles of Jewish Sacrifice, Survival, and Strength; Keep Calm and Bake Challah: How I Survived the Pandemic, Politics, Pratfalls, and Other of Life’s Problems; Tikkun Olam, There Goes My Heart; and Fradel’s Story, a compilation of stories by her mother that she edited. Shapiro’s blog is theregoesmyheart.me.
Originally published at
The Jewish World
ADVERTISEMENT
Greeting the new year with memories of loved ones and past holidays
Marilyn Shapiro reflects on High Holy Day gatherings past and present, and on placing a stone at yizkor in memory of loved ones.
Marilyn Shapiro
5
mins read time
Originally published at
The Jewish World
The headstone for Leona Ida Shapiro.
Yom Kippur turns our hearts toward both the fragility of life and the persistence of memory. —Rabbi Kelly Whitehead
The High Holy Days for Larry, my husband, and for me have always been about family, those who are with us and those whose lives we remember.
Although I remember High Holy Day services and dinner with my immediate family, Larry’s family had much larger get-togethers.
Days past
After Larry’s father Ernie returned from military service during the Korean War, he moved the family from Syracuse to Saratoga Springs to resume managing Shapiro’s of Schuylerville. Each holiday, Larry would pile into his family’s sedan along with his sisters and parents and drive to Syracuse to spend Rosh Hashanah with his Bubbie Rose, Uncle Asher, and family friends. A week later his family would go back to Syracuse for Yom Kippur. During those holidays, Larry would sit in the Orthodox synagogue with his father, Uncle Asher, and other relatives, fidgeting on the hard pews and looking forward to the huge meals prepared by his Bubbie Rose when services were done.
By the time I was invited to Rosh Hashanah dinner at the Shapiros in September 1973, six months after I had met Larry at a Jewish Singles Purim Party, the logistics had changed. Uncle Asher drove Bubbie Rose, now in her late seventies, and Cousin Helen “Hudie” Millstein back and forth from Syracuse. His mother Doris was now in charge of cooking, with the Syracuse contingent bringing pastries from the Snowflake bakery.
Simcha celebrations
On our walk home from Rosh Hashanah services in 1973, Larry and I got engaged. We decided to share the news with the family at the Yom Kippur break-the-fast, which coincided with Ernie’s birthday. After Ernie blew out his candles, Larry announced that his present for Ernie was a daughter-in-law. Bubbie’s comment: “It’s about time!”
It was our penultimate High Holy Days with Bubbie Rose, who passed away on the Thanksgiving Day after our September 1974 wedding.
We celebrated many more High Holy Day dinners around that huge dining room table. After Larry’s parents both passed away in 1994, I took over the Rosh Hashanah duties. Yes, many relatives were no longer with us, but we added additional family and friends to the guest list. We maintained that sweet tradition until our move to Florida in 2015. Since then, Rosh Hashanah dinners have been smaller and quieter affairs.
Congregation’s custom
Rosh Hashanah may be about memories of family gatherings. Yom Kippur is about remembrance. One of the most important parts of Yom Kippur is the yizkor service, in which we remember all the losses of loved ones, not only those who died in the past year but also the many who only live now in our hearts.
Congregation Shalom Aleichem, our synagogue here in Kissimmee, Fla. has a lovely tradition. It is a common Jewish custom to place a small stone upon the gravestone of a loved one when visiting the cemetery. As so many of us are too far away to complete this mitzvah, Congregation Shalom Aleichem has placed a table in front of the bimah with two containers of stones and a marble slab, which symbolizes the gravestone. At the end of the yizkor service, those who wish can silently place the stone(s) on the marble slab.
This year will be poignant for Larry and for me. Forefront in my mind will be my beloved older sister, Laura Appel, who died unexpectedly on Aug. 29, 2025, of a rare form of pneumonia that doctors said she had contracted on a recent European vacation.
ADVERTISEMENT
Place in the heart
Last fall I was in deep mourning. Now my grief is mixed with cherished memories, triggered by the expected and unexpected. Her bowl of waxed apples on my coffee table (As her married name was Appel, she had lots of apple tchotchkes); the family pictures on my end table of the Cohen family; the sight of a bottle of White Zinfandel (her favorite) or a huge bowl of ice cream (the entire Cohen family favorite). I recall sharing my early years with my parents and my Cohen siblings in Upstate New York; getting wise advice on life and love from my “Big Sister;” gathering at times with our growing families; enjoying a week each year in Arizona with Laura and her significant other.
At the yizkor service, my eyes filled with tears, I will place a stone in her memory on that marble slab. My sister is gone from this life but not from my heart.
Larry will also place his usual stones but will be adding one to honor a relative only known to him until recently as his father’s sister who had died tragically at 15 months old. This past August, two of Larry’s sisters, along with their husbands, had traveled to the Syracuse cemetery where several Shapiro family members had been buried. They sent him a text with a picture of a barely legible baby gravestone that they thought could be that of the lost sister. He texted back, “It can’t be her. The surname is wrong.” He decided to search the internet and, to his amazement, found within three minutes the gravestone that read “Leona Ida Shapiro 1915-1917.” He now knew her name and the years of her life, which ended before Ernie, his father, was even born. With this information, she became real, now his Aunt Leona of blessed memory. Over 100 years after her death, Larry will be remembering her at yizkor.
Sources:
Shurpin, Yehuda. “Why Do Jews Put Stones on Graves?” Chabad.org. chabad.org
Whitehead, Rabbi Kelly. “Five things to consider on Yom Kippur.” Reform Judaism. August 29, 2026. reformjudaism.org
Marilyn Shapiro, formerly of Clifton Park, a resident of Kissimmee, Fla. has several books to her credit. They are: Remembrance and Legacy, Profiles of Jewish Sacrifice, Survival, and Strength; Keep Calm and Bake Challah: How I Survived the Pandemic, Politics, Pratfalls, and Other of Life’s Problems; Tikkun Olam, There Goes My Heart; and Fradel’s Story, a compilation of stories by her mother that she edited. Shapiro’s blog is theregoesmyheart.me.
Originally published at
The Jewish World
ADVERTISEMENT
Greeting the new year with memories of loved ones and past holidays
Marilyn Shapiro reflects on High Holy Day gatherings past and present, and on placing a stone at yizkor in memory of loved ones.
Marilyn Shapiro
5
mins read time
Originally published at
The Jewish World
The headstone for Leona Ida Shapiro.
Yom Kippur turns our hearts toward both the fragility of life and the persistence of memory. —Rabbi Kelly Whitehead
The High Holy Days for Larry, my husband, and for me have always been about family, those who are with us and those whose lives we remember.
Although I remember High Holy Day services and dinner with my immediate family, Larry’s family had much larger get-togethers.
Days past
After Larry’s father Ernie returned from military service during the Korean War, he moved the family from Syracuse to Saratoga Springs to resume managing Shapiro’s of Schuylerville. Each holiday, Larry would pile into his family’s sedan along with his sisters and parents and drive to Syracuse to spend Rosh Hashanah with his Bubbie Rose, Uncle Asher, and family friends. A week later his family would go back to Syracuse for Yom Kippur. During those holidays, Larry would sit in the Orthodox synagogue with his father, Uncle Asher, and other relatives, fidgeting on the hard pews and looking forward to the huge meals prepared by his Bubbie Rose when services were done.
By the time I was invited to Rosh Hashanah dinner at the Shapiros in September 1973, six months after I had met Larry at a Jewish Singles Purim Party, the logistics had changed. Uncle Asher drove Bubbie Rose, now in her late seventies, and Cousin Helen “Hudie” Millstein back and forth from Syracuse. His mother Doris was now in charge of cooking, with the Syracuse contingent bringing pastries from the Snowflake bakery.
Simcha celebrations
On our walk home from Rosh Hashanah services in 1973, Larry and I got engaged. We decided to share the news with the family at the Yom Kippur break-the-fast, which coincided with Ernie’s birthday. After Ernie blew out his candles, Larry announced that his present for Ernie was a daughter-in-law. Bubbie’s comment: “It’s about time!”
It was our penultimate High Holy Days with Bubbie Rose, who passed away on the Thanksgiving Day after our September 1974 wedding.
We celebrated many more High Holy Day dinners around that huge dining room table. After Larry’s parents both passed away in 1994, I took over the Rosh Hashanah duties. Yes, many relatives were no longer with us, but we added additional family and friends to the guest list. We maintained that sweet tradition until our move to Florida in 2015. Since then, Rosh Hashanah dinners have been smaller and quieter affairs.
Congregation’s custom
Rosh Hashanah may be about memories of family gatherings. Yom Kippur is about remembrance. One of the most important parts of Yom Kippur is the yizkor service, in which we remember all the losses of loved ones, not only those who died in the past year but also the many who only live now in our hearts.
Congregation Shalom Aleichem, our synagogue here in Kissimmee, Fla. has a lovely tradition. It is a common Jewish custom to place a small stone upon the gravestone of a loved one when visiting the cemetery. As so many of us are too far away to complete this mitzvah, Congregation Shalom Aleichem has placed a table in front of the bimah with two containers of stones and a marble slab, which symbolizes the gravestone. At the end of the yizkor service, those who wish can silently place the stone(s) on the marble slab.
This year will be poignant for Larry and for me. Forefront in my mind will be my beloved older sister, Laura Appel, who died unexpectedly on Aug. 29, 2025, of a rare form of pneumonia that doctors said she had contracted on a recent European vacation.
ADVERTISEMENT
Place in the heart
Last fall I was in deep mourning. Now my grief is mixed with cherished memories, triggered by the expected and unexpected. Her bowl of waxed apples on my coffee table (As her married name was Appel, she had lots of apple tchotchkes); the family pictures on my end table of the Cohen family; the sight of a bottle of White Zinfandel (her favorite) or a huge bowl of ice cream (the entire Cohen family favorite). I recall sharing my early years with my parents and my Cohen siblings in Upstate New York; getting wise advice on life and love from my “Big Sister;” gathering at times with our growing families; enjoying a week each year in Arizona with Laura and her significant other.
At the yizkor service, my eyes filled with tears, I will place a stone in her memory on that marble slab. My sister is gone from this life but not from my heart.
Larry will also place his usual stones but will be adding one to honor a relative only known to him until recently as his father’s sister who had died tragically at 15 months old. This past August, two of Larry’s sisters, along with their husbands, had traveled to the Syracuse cemetery where several Shapiro family members had been buried. They sent him a text with a picture of a barely legible baby gravestone that they thought could be that of the lost sister. He texted back, “It can’t be her. The surname is wrong.” He decided to search the internet and, to his amazement, found within three minutes the gravestone that read “Leona Ida Shapiro 1915-1917.” He now knew her name and the years of her life, which ended before Ernie, his father, was even born. With this information, she became real, now his Aunt Leona of blessed memory. Over 100 years after her death, Larry will be remembering her at yizkor.
Sources:
Shurpin, Yehuda. “Why Do Jews Put Stones on Graves?” Chabad.org. chabad.org
Whitehead, Rabbi Kelly. “Five things to consider on Yom Kippur.” Reform Judaism. August 29, 2026. reformjudaism.org
Marilyn Shapiro, formerly of Clifton Park, a resident of Kissimmee, Fla. has several books to her credit. They are: Remembrance and Legacy, Profiles of Jewish Sacrifice, Survival, and Strength; Keep Calm and Bake Challah: How I Survived the Pandemic, Politics, Pratfalls, and Other of Life’s Problems; Tikkun Olam, There Goes My Heart; and Fradel’s Story, a compilation of stories by her mother that she edited. Shapiro’s blog is theregoesmyheart.me.
Originally published at
The Jewish World
ADVERTISEMENT
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© 2026 The Jewish World · Since 1965 - The Capital Region's gateway to Jewish life
Designed and Developed by Ta-Da Studios
© 2026 The Jewish World · Since 1965 - The Capital Region's gateway to Jewish life
Designed and Developed by Ta-Da Studios
© 2026 The Jewish World · Since 1965 - The Capital Region's gateway to Jewish life
Designed and Developed by Ta-Da Studios